My thesis for grad school has something to do with "genius," a topic so broad that hundreds of lifetimes, maybe thousands have been dealing with it as a concept in some way or another. in effort to focus I've tried to relate it to economics, the development of capitalism, and how it's been appropriated to serve capitalistic needs. Still too broad. I've narrowed it down to the study of how genius has been applied to Michelangelo, but the world does not need another book about Michelangelo, even if the thesis is only part of the book, and even if I'm only using him to explain how capitalism works (if that's even possible).

But the real question that needs to be answered is why do i even care about the concept of genius?

The answer, oh how humbling:

At its most raw I'm angry that that we have invented the category of "genius." why? Because I'm angry because I don't feel a part of it and it's culturally valuable. I feel oppressed (and depressed) by my lack of genius and therefore want to define it. by defining it I could prove its falseness, its lack of authenticity as anything other than a social tool to advance selfish, political, and economic agendas. i could prove it isn't real and then I wouldn't have to care about inclusion in the canon, whichever canon, of art, literature, music, etc... I never really considered myself so bitter or pessimistic, or so competitive! Yeish!

I could take a more generous approach, and define genius so graciously and so ambiguously that it could apply to anyone. Instead of proving it's falseness I could prove its universality, just another mechanism to devalue the term. I'm not sure I want my thesis to be a vehicle to triumph over some weirdo childhood trauma I don't entirely understand (that being my relationship to feeling inferior to whatever I might consider "genius.")

So shit! Do I even care about the concept of genius beyond a desire to avenge my psyche? Ah, you ask, but does anyone ever care about anything beyond avenging the demons of their childhood? At least to this i can confidently answer YES! There is probably a reason to care about genius and I will be all the more noble for taking the time to find it.

The question is do I want to be noble? Or do I want to write something truly compelling? And the silly answer that I could do both is yes, a possibility, but no, not probable in the time I have left to write. I'm thinking about abandoning genius altogether, but for what? A thesis on how to throw a really great underground party?



back ||| home | words | music | friends | email klever